Like an ax murderer, Halloween is just around the corner, and CableTV.com is celebrating with our own spooky movie.

First, our data team had to raise our predictive algorithm from the dead. Then we fed the algorithm scripts from the top-grossing horror films of all time—IT, The Exorcist, and The Sixth Sense—to make the most terrifying blockbuster ever.

As violently as Regan from The Exorcist, our AI projectile vomited out fifty attempts based on what it learned from the scripts. We sewed the best pieces together into a sort of Frankenstein’s monster, then added some horror magic to bring it to life as a movie trailer.

The movie—currently under the working title Exor-Sense IT—follows Malcolm Crow from The Sixth Sense, who has returned to the land of the living as a harbinger for the end of the world. Teaming up again with Cole Sear, Malcolm attempts to warn the world of untold evil lurking in the sewers.

Meanwhile, Pennywise has teamed up with a once-more-possessed Regan MacNeil. Regan slamming boxes on the ground may be benign compared to her original behavior in The Exorcist, but Pennywise seems too focused on targeted Beverly to care.

Can Cole’s alphabet soup lead our heroes to Beverly in time? Or are dead Georgie’s shoes all that await them in the end? Let us know what you think of our AI’s scary movie in the comments below!

Full Script from Exor-Sense IT

–FADE IN–

MALCOLM

The fights begin now.
The drain, the tremble, Washington in flames.
The streets were mad.
There were mothers in the alley, teeth leaving the drain.

 

PENNYWISE

We’re home by ourselves.

 

MALCOLM

Across the beautiful speaking kid.

 

COLE

Look at the child’s soup! Ooomf!

 

MALCOLM

And unfortunate worry.

 

REGAN

Head down the hallway!

 

MALCOLM

Across the consciousness.
There the figure walks right in the blackness. Angel?

 

BEVERLY

Hello?

 

PENNYWISE

Miss?

 

COLE

All is cold.
The living pen strokes visitors while holding the lemonade.

 

MALCOLM

…the mass.
Are these dead Georgie’s old shoes?

–END SCENE–