Since businessman and reality TV star Donald Trump announced his presidential campaign in June 2015, America has become partly immune to whatever his next shocking move might be. It’s hardly surprising, then, to hear that the Republican frontrunner is currently in talks to create a new TV project should he be elected into office — a reality show documenting his life as president of the United States of America.
According to our source, Trump sees the show as more of a documentary than a “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”-style reality drama, but that hasn’t stopped him from talking things through with the Kardashians’ PR tycoon mom, Kris Jenner. Despite Kris’ ongoing attempts to have Trump promote Kylie Jenner’s hit Lip Kits on the show, he is apparently thrilled with her input, and excited about the potential for this new small screen project, telling friends that “everything Jenner touches turns to gold.”
Trump believes that an inside look at his time in the Oval Office will help bolster Americans’ faith in their president and instill a greater sense of trust in the country at large.
Streaming news site exstreamist.com is also reporting Trump is in talks with various networks, including Netflix and HBO, but hasn’t ruled out other interested networks.
“We’re gonna beat ‘Scandal,’ we’re gonna beat ‘West Wing’ — I’m more handsome than that Rob guy, anyway — and we’re gonna make the best damn television show America has seen in a long time. We’re gonna do it. We’re gonna make American television great again,” Trump was said to have declared proudly in a private pitch meeting earlier this week.
“I don’t care what anyone says about ‘House of Cards’ — they stole their liberal agenda TV show from the British. We don’t want that in America. We don’t want it. My show will be better. I’m the best at making shows. Nobody makes shows better than me. By the time season 8 is over, you’re all gonna be SICK of how much you love it.”
Trump refused to comment on whether or not his statement was an endorsement for Kylie Jenner’s lip gloss in the shade “Love Sick,” but looked especially confident — even radiant — during his remarks.
“Donald really thinks a heavy handed approach is best,” explained Kevin Joico, Trump’s personal trainer. “Which is ironic, considering the actual size of his hands.”
Legal issues meant that Joico was hesitant to discuss too many other details about the show. Universal Pictures is reportedly suing Trump pre-emptively because his show idea comes too close to the plotline of the upcoming “Back to the Future” series, the first season of which reportedly explores the alternate, Biff-ruled timeline from the second film. Trump appeared unfazed by the suit, responding to questions about the charge with comments on the size of his body parts.
“It’s huge,” said Trump, referring to his suspiciously glossy upper lip. “So’s the bottom one. You wanna know why? Tune into my show when it comes out. You’re gonna love it.”
Despite the fact that a good portion of the program’s details are still up in the air, sources have confirmed that Kanye West has signed on to record the TV show’s theme song, with Trump possibly providing background vocals. West, a long-time Trump supporter, has taken to social media to hype the project, claiming, “A collaboration between Kanye and Trump will sound even better than a collaboration between Kanye and Kanye.”
“Trump & Tiaras” has a tentative air date sometime in January 2017, depending on the results of the upcoming presidential election. Other show titles being considered include “Fifty Shades of Toupee,” “The Big Hand Theory,” and “How to Get Away with Murdering Progress when Your Cologne Sales Are Down.”