The 15 Spiciest ‘Game of Thrones’ Episodes: Golden Crown, Red Wedding, and More
“Game of Thrones” was bonkers from the start: Two dudes get their heads cut off in the opening minutes of the very first episode, and the madness doesn’t let up from there. Premiering in 2011 and running over eight seasons, the acclaimed HBO series draws on a series of fantasy novels from George R. R. Martin to tell the tale of a feudal kingdom beset by warring families, fire-breathing dragons, and all manner of supernatural forces. A lot of people get laid amidst all that drama, and even more people get killed.
With everything that goes down in Westeros, there’s enough tea to keep audiences talking for years to come. Here are the 15 spiciest moments of “Game of Thrones” for your viewing pleasure. Beware of major spoilers ahead.
“Winter Is Coming” (Season 1, Episode 1)
“Game of Thrones”‘ season premiere is stuffed with R-rated shenanigans, setting the stage for everything to come. Up in the spooky Haunted Forest beyond the Wall, a ranger for the Night’s Watch gets his head lopped off by a White Walker. Soon, another ranger who witnessed the atrocity also loses his head, executed by Eddard Stark for deserting his post. But the real surprise comes at the end of the episode, when Bran Stark witnesses Queen Cersei getting it on with her twin brother, Jaime Lannister — who promptly shoves Bran out the tower window, permanently disabling him.
“A Golden Crown” (Season 1, Episode 6)
Long before she amasses her army of Dothraki screamers and Unsullied infantrymen, Daenerys Targaryen has to deal with her obnoxious brother Viserys. Thankfully her new husband Khal Drogo understands that Dany is the real deal and that Viserys is the poser between this pair of royal exiles from far-off Westeros. When Viserys commits the ultimate faux pas — pulling out a sword in the sacred city of Vaes Dothrak and threatening to kill Dany — Drogo rewards him with a “golden crown” made of literal, red-hot molten gold, which he pours over a screaming Viserys’ head.
“Baelor” (Season 1, Episode 9)
The fact that Sean Bean plays Eddard “Ned” Stark should have been an obvious tip off that Stark wouldn’t be long for this series: Bean has become famous for dying in his acting roles. But it’s still a huge shock when the evil, incest-begotten boy king Joffrey Baratheon orders the Lord of Winterfell’s execution in the penultimate episode of season one. The series’ fast-growing audience learned then not to get too cozy with any favorite characters.
“Blackwater” (Season 2, Episode 9)
Tyrion Lannister proves to be a master political operator in his brief and divisive run as Joffrey’s acting Hand of the King, but his most impressive feat is in the area of military strategy when he uses wildfire (a kind of medieval napalm) to eliminate most of Stannis Baratheon’s naval fleet. In the Battle of Blackwater Bay, this neon-green fireworks show is as grisly as it is satisfying: Sandor Clegane, the otherwise indefatigable warrior nicknamed the Hound, ends up so traumatized by the sight of soldiers engulfed in flames that he renounces his loyalty to the Lannisters and goes AWOL.
“Kissed By Fire” (Season 3, Episode 5)
Jon Snow’s alliance with the Wildlings beyond the wall takes its most romantic form with his dalliance with the warrior Ygritte. The will-they-or-won’t-they flirtation between these two highly attractive heroes stretches out for multiple episodes before culminating in a romantic cave scene, where they finally get down to some steamy lovemaking. Too bad this Romeo and Juliet pairing can’t last.
“Second Sons” (Season 3, Episode 8)
Imagine you’re getting intimate with a very beautiful person and they decide to try something you’ve never done before. First they tie you to a bed — ooh, fun — and then they bring out a bunch of blood-sucking leeches! Gendry, a humble blacksmith who also happens to be the illegitimate child of former King Robert Baratheon, gets the surprise of a lifetime when Lord of Light priestess Melisandre pulls this very move on him. Stepping the freak factor up a notch, she even lets Stannis Baratheon in the room as she collects Gendry’s royal blood.
“The Rains of Castamere” (Season 3, Episode 9)
You know it, I know it — even people who haven’t even seen this episode know it. The Red Wedding is the most infamous wedding scene in TV history, starting off as a jovial feast only to descend into an orgy of betrayal and bloodshed, resulting in the deaths of Robb Stark, his pregnant wife, and his mother Catelyn. Aside from the fact that this marital ambush is just plain wrong, it also stands as a violation of the sacred Westerosi rule of guest right, and such a brazen act of inhospitality of course leads to a particularly brutal penalty for the Red Wedding’s craven host, Walder Frey. (More on that later.)
“Mhysa” (Season 3, Episode 10)
The heinous cruelty of Ramsay Bolton is the stuff of TV legend, and nowhere is that more clear than in his treatment of Theon Greyjoy. After bungling an attempted takeover of Winterfell, the poor sap endures a season’s worth of taunts and tortures at the hands of Ramsay’s cruel mistresses. All the while, Ramsay treats the whole ordeal like a piece of theater, showing up at the very end to reveal himself as Theon’s puppet-master tormentor. Of course Ramsay saves the most diabolical act for last, castrating Theon and (in the final episode) renaming him “Reek” to have him act as Ramsay’s personal servant.
“Two Swords” (Season 4, Episode 1)
There are a lot of memorable scenes depicting LGBTQ sex and romance in “Game of Thrones,” but Oberyn Martell deserves special recognition for his embrace of full-on, luscious polyamory. Hailing from the progressive kingdom of Dorne, the horny young prince visits a brothel as soon as he reaches King’s Landing, where he sets his eyes on a “wildly expensive” male sex worker while also making clear that he equally enjoys the company of his female paramour, Ellaria Sand.
“Purple Wedding” (Season 4, Episode 2)
As the most petty and sadistic psycho to ever sit on the Iron Throne, Joffrey Baratheon finally gets what’s coming to him during the party on the day of his marriage to Margaery Tyrell. After Joffrey thoroughly humiliates Tyrion by forcing him to serve as “cup bearer,” a sip of wine spiked with poison sends Joffrey into a choking fit. In front of all the wedding guests, he turns purple and dies in agony in his mother Cersei’s arms. Look, killing is not okay, but for Joffrey we can certainly make an exception.
“Mother’s Mercy” (Season 5, Episode 10)
What happens when politicians try to manipulate religion for their own personal gain? In the case of Cersei Lannister, it leads to her being incarcerated, forced to confess to charges of adultery, and subjected to a humiliating punishment. Stripped naked and with her hair cut off, she endures a “walk of atonement,” marching through the streets of King’s Landing to expose herself to jeering crowds that pelt her with rotten refuse. Even though it happens to “Game of Thrones”‘ most cutthroat villain, it’s still one of the most painful scenes in the entire series.
“Book of the Stranger” (Season 6, Episode 4)
In Vaes Dothrak, Daenerys wins the allegiance of the entire Dothraki horde when she kills the khals (the warlords who oversee their nomadic society). After setting their temple on fire, Dany steps out of the flames, butt naked but alive and unburned. It’s a hot scene, literally and figuratively.
“The Winds of Winter” (Season 6, Episode 10)
Arya Stark serves her vengeance hot from the oven when she heads to the Twins to seek justice for the Red Wedding. Employing the magical art of disguise that she learned while training with the Faceless Men in Braavos, she kills Walder Frey’s sons and bakes them into a meat pie. She then serves said pie to Walder Frey, who (before getting his throat cut) opens up the crust to find a gruesome creation that includes a whole finger and an eyeball. Yummy! How about some fries with that?
“Stormborn” (Season 7, Episode 2)
As the commander of Daenerys’ Unsullied army of eunuch warriors, Grey Worm lacks the, er, proper parts to conduct sexual intercourse. But he has plenty of other qualities that make him a great catch — bravery, loyalty, toned abs — and Missandei is more than game when they strip down for a tender scene of lovemaking to consummate their undying devotion to each other.
This is a spicy episode for another reason too: At the Citadel in the city of Oldtown, maester-in-training Samwell Tarly successfully cures Ser Jorah Mormont of his greyscale affliction. All it takes is an excruciating, hours-long surgical procedure in which he slices off the man’s infected skin and applies a healing ointment directly to his exposed flesh.
“The Bells” (Season 8, Episode 5)
When Daenerys finally reaches King’s Landing to take the Iron Throne, the Lannister army is so outmatched that they lay down their arms and ring the city’s bells in surrender. No matter: Driven mad by power and grief, Daenerys leads an attack on the city anyway, torching innocents with the help of her fire-breathing dragon. It’s the second-to-last episode of the series, and old rivalries and loves are resolved in dramatic flourishes while the city burns.
